Performance Driven Life ?

Attempted to update my blog since ember arrived – I have so many things to share, our 10 years wedding anniversary, the delivery experience and life as parents, new year thoughts … well one thing about parenthood – busy.

Inspite of the parenting challenge, thank God I’m still able  to head down BB on sat to spend time with the Boys. At the start of the year, we typical spend some time doing individual assessment with the Boys to get them to reflect on their goals in different areas of their lives. Its really  a privilege to have from the heart sharing from the Boys and I’m glad that many of them set good goals in terms of academic achievements  and accolades in BB.

While there is nothing wrong with the goals I hear, but I can’t help but notice most if not all of them are performance related. Maybe its the wrong questions or its the world we lived in now – instead understanding the subjects, the goal is to get a certain grade, instead of developing a certain value its about getting a certain award in BB, instead of loving and communicating at home, its down to doing housework.

Its a good reminder for myself as we teach our Boys – while the system around us focus on performance and output, the gospel have a radically different perspective – we are not judge by our achievements, God accept us, regardless of our achievements and that is the heart of the christian faith. This is most clearly explained in the parable in Luke 15: 11-32.

11Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. 13“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. 17“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ 20So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 21“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. 22“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. 25“Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’ 28“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’ 31” ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ “

The two brothers are are stark contrast in the story. The younger one hated his father, wasted all his father’s wealth, yet the father accepted him inspite of him only having failures to show. The elder brother led all his life based on performance  and demands the father to reward him for his performance. When things don’t go his way, his true heart is revealed. He have never love his father, he only love himself. And the story ended with the father keeping the door open for the elder brother have the right relationship with him. God is the father in the story who accepts us unconditionally – the question for us is do we want God or we want the goods things from God?

The funny thing about the gospel is that its always counter culture. Its good to remember that if we teach our boys life is about performance and ticking off a list of achievements, then achievements will be their god and we are leading them further away from the gospel and the true meaning of life.

Anytime Now

Irene saw adrian today …. ember has really grown, she’s 3kg now !! She’s poise to see the world anytime. Adrian was suggesting that we may need to consider inducing if she’s grown too big by next week … coming weekend could be our last in the category of married without kids.

Talking about weekends … the last few weekends has been great being back in the BB … its been awhile that we see the Boys, its always great to see every single one of them … yet somehow every week I always felt that we have not done enough to get to know each of them deeper and truly impact them with our life.

However, I’m pretty happy that we started the basketball team, just wish that more people will join, keep praying that its a start of something good. In fact, we are so excited about the basketball team that yong wei, irene and myself spend the weekend hunting around for outfit for the team. Did not manage to lock in on the outfit … but irene got me  a 10 year wedding anniversary gift instead – a RayBan … something I’d always wanted .. thanks baby. Thank God for keeping us together all these years.

My RayBan

Talking about connecting … great to have govin & betty back, even its for a short while. We had a great time enjoying each other cooking during our welcome party. Also good to have a surprise guest – Geok Hua who served her expertise … fried carrot cake.

GnB welcome party

Ember – Week 28

Took the day off today to get some CQ stuff done, give myself a break and make sure I don’t miss the appointment with Adrian today.

Was out of bed late just after 9am, first thing is to check my open solaris download, I’m suprise at the ease of getting it installed on my Mac via VMware is to simple. Its took me less than 30 mins to get everything setup and I’m out for breakfast before 10am.

Went for a haircut and hit the gym after that – its my de-stress routine.

And finally, we get to see Ember !!! She’s doing extremely well, heart pumping stronggggg and even gave us a cheeky smile ..

Ember

Seems like she inherited all the strong features from us , not too sure about the thick lips? Regardless, we are really blessed. On the way home, got a call from mum that she is joining some church activities coming Sunday – another piece of good news.

It has been a wonderful, we are truly thankful. Thank you Lord.

More religious or its economics? (Part 2)

Saw the hits on my blog jumped recently, not sure why, but hey, thanks for reading !!

Now, back to finishing my blog about one of the key topic of the national day rally. Many could read the recent trend as just due to a recent push of religious conservatism – another word with lots of qualification needed. Guess in layman term, people are more active in religious activities, more expressive in sharing their religious values and taking religion more seriously.

This is an interesting global trend … I thought religion is actually on the decline especially in the west … remember reading an article that there are more people going to the gyms than churches on Sundays in Britain.  Many years back ST publish an article about American social value in the 70’s versus 80’s. Among many humorous pot shots, one thing I vividly remember was this:

10 years ago, if you don’t go to church – you go to hell. 10 years on, if you don’t go to church – what the hell.

If things where going downhill since the 1960s – Time Magazine publish the Is God Dead article; Did God resurrect?

My conclusion is primary derived what the authors of The Experience Economy. I think people are moving towards transformational experience … its not good enough to just consume goods and services, but people are looking for the consumption to change them. Take for example the rise of cosmetic surgery, people want to change to be someone. Even services like spa which is primary a de-stress outlet for modern day people, is now being qualified with energy, medicine, eco and what nots – the idea? Its changing you.

In Singapore, the big trend is long distance running. I’m not diminishing the value of it … ok fine … I’m not a big fan … in fact, I think it does has adverse health effect (that’s another time). Bottom line, I think more people are running, because it changes them – both mentally and physically. The next big business is to a endurance coach

The biggest market of it all are the kids. The whole industry is out there to help parents customise their kids from the day they are in their mum’s womb. Even as parent-to-be, we are told to take supplements for the foetus brain development etc, etc. Irene doesn’t like to swallow pills and to save a few bucks, we decided to give them a miss.

The big transformational market is within the person soul. People are heading to the religious institution because I think people genuinely wants to be better person and find a higher purpose in life.  While self-help book will continue to be a big draw and there are some quasi-religious groups that are meeting the needs, people still see the religious institution as the primary answer to the transformation of the soul. As a Christian, I see this as a great opportunity to share our lives and faith and the churches should step up to the challenge. We need to be acutely aware about not to take the Pharisaic stand and be keenly engaged to the needs of the community, yet not be caught up in the economics of religious experience because we have nothing to sell.

More religious or its economics? (Part 1)

Heard the N-day rally last weekend, kind of feel that its content-free – maybe it lacked goodies like previous years ones or major policy changes that interest me

One big topic that kept the press buzzing after that is the issue of religion – I thought the points covered by PM is very well put across without making any group too uncomfortable and remind all of us the importance of having the equilibrium in our society. I for one is a firm believer that we should keep religion separate from state and politics. As Christian, I’m not for ‘Christianising’ secular institution and organisation, faith needs to be personal and not imposed upon.

Yet my faith and eastern upbringing makes me worry when social norms are challenged – when casinos are build, when alternative lifestyle is promoted and media is liberated. Not that Christians stand on moral high ground for the Bible says “All have sin and fall short of the glory of God Romans 3:23″, but having personally seen families and lives torn apart as a result of moral compromises, its only socially responsible to ring the warning bell when we are concerned. I don’t think its non tolerant when I’m worried that me or my family members could fall into the trap gambling or when I’ concerned that my child will grow up in an environment when the definition of the Family is blurred.

One thing Christians needs to do when trying to share our view is really to watch the tone and more importantly do it out of love, especially towards those who have a different view. Yet, we need to realistically know  that we cannot “Christianise” the society, instead we should live a lifestyle  that attracts as Bible commands the followers:

Philipians 2:12-15

Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.

Actually, this is a side note … will cover the main point in my next blog