Thankful & humbled

Its has been a good 6 months since I last blogged. With facebook and twitter, everyday people blogging seems to become old fashion – guess it goes with today’s trend of instance gratification, why wait, when its more ‘fun’ to consume photos, videos and taglines?

Talking about tagline, here’s mine for describing facebook – ‘its personal marketing, nothing personal’. The consumer just have to beware that you are consuming the content based on what the marketeer (our friends) wants you to perceive. Guess its human nature – we always wanted to project a particular image of ourselves.  A simple example … I think my daughter ember is beautiful and only post the nicer photos online. Nothing wrong with just wanting to share only a part of us, but we need to be aware that what we know of our friends on FB is a part and sometimes even a facade.

I digress.

Looking back at the past 1+ years, things has been pretty tough both personally, at home and at work – my past blogs had been a reflection of that. Thankfully in the past week, some of the challenges at work had come to a good closure and things is also getting better. Its was only Christmas eve that things was going nowhere where a work associate and Christian brother encourages me that we view the worldly things in the right perspective and trust in God for the greater things. What a difference a month makes, in His own timing,  God has graciously intervene and gotten things in order.

The greater things for the past year is about God humbling me and showing me my sins, pitfalls, faithlessness and weakness. My perception of myself took a beating, God broke my facade and help me see deeper my own iniquities and how much I need to really grow.

Thank you God for loving me, answering my prayers in your own time and humbling me. Help me to stay humble before you and man and walk closely with you. Amen.

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6-7.

Picking up & finding the compass

The last few months has been tough.

Work wise things has been crazy – no other adjective really. Nothing seems to be going on well @ work, everyday is a war with battles coming from all fronts. Just last week was the classic – within a week I have to manage issues from six different parties. When you are that bruised and need to put up a brave front, something got to give. I’m that something that is giving way … realized I’d carved a lonelier figure @ work, the jest is gone and I’d aged. What remains is a shell power by the will to get things done …

While I used to have the home based support whenever I’m down, irene is just too tired and equally stressed-out to have that extra capacity. In fact, with ember’s arrival, our relationship has been pretty strained.

The challenges at work and home affected my spiritual walk and I’d been drifting away from God. Thank God for the Men’s Conference I attended last week. Although the topic is about being a good Father, I guess the principle applies to all relationships:

Ticket that makes a difference

1. Affirmation – sense of authenticity

2. Acceptance – sense of security

3. Appreciation – sense of significance

4. Availability – sense of importance

5. Affection – sense of lovability

6. Approach their world

7. Accountability – sense of responsibility

Its not so much as the principles – which in themselves excellence, but the conference set me back on the path to put God’s purpose first in my life. Time to pick things up with God, set my compass in His direction and trust that He will set other things straight.

First thing first is to set the family time right. Rather than heading home to catch up on work after church, decided to bring irene and ember to chill out in town today.

We had a pretty good german lunch at somerset 313. Nice place, friendly staff who took turn to keep ember distracted and slightly expensive. When shopping after that, as usual, I’m the one ended up buying stuff – got myself a spain jersey for the world cup

It was a good day. But more importantly, its a step of me leading my family in a godly way and it need to start with my refreshing that love for God.

Prayers

Pray that irene will get better as a mum and ember will be last cranky  As work starts tomorrow, pray that I will start the week with a fresh perspective from God.

Trusting in Jesus.

How is your worship?

Got to lead the last officer fortnight. Decided to share something that is very close to heart in recent months.

Since ember arrives on the scene, things has been challenging for the Ng family … while the biggest hit is really irene who needs to cope with challenges of managing a new born and poor ember has gone from one problem to another – jaundice, nappy rash, flem, milk rashes; the emotions of a new mum; difficulties of breast-feeding and physical weariness. For me, its really, lack of sleep, no time, no gym, managing expectations and being squeezed with difficulties at work’s end. In fact, as a couple, this is probably the most challenging period for our 10 years marriage. While I’d also been able to rely on irene’s comfort when chips of life is down, this time round, I know irene has totally run out of capacity. Life challenges really pushes us to seek God more, to find comfort in His Word and in prayers. In fact life challenges really enriches our worship as we seek solace in His presence.

Naturally the topic I shared was on worship, taking from Ephesians 5:17-20

“Therefore do not be foolish but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Paul urges his reader to sing to fellow believers songs of praise, helping one another to worship God !! This must be our heart when we head to church every sunday, are we thrilled by the fact that we are meeting our brothers & sisters to worship our God together …. is a a song humming in our heart as we head off to church? To be in that state on Sunday to sing songs to one another, we need to be discovering how wonderful God is and in the mindset of worship other days of the week. I encourage my fellow leaders to find moments in their own life that inspire them to worship and share that, the next time we meet.

Performance Driven Life ?

Attempted to update my blog since ember arrived – I have so many things to share, our 10 years wedding anniversary, the delivery experience and life as parents, new year thoughts … well one thing about parenthood – busy.

Inspite of the parenting challenge, thank God I’m still able  to head down BB on sat to spend time with the Boys. At the start of the year, we typical spend some time doing individual assessment with the Boys to get them to reflect on their goals in different areas of their lives. Its really  a privilege to have from the heart sharing from the Boys and I’m glad that many of them set good goals in terms of academic achievements  and accolades in BB.

While there is nothing wrong with the goals I hear, but I can’t help but notice most if not all of them are performance related. Maybe its the wrong questions or its the world we lived in now – instead understanding the subjects, the goal is to get a certain grade, instead of developing a certain value its about getting a certain award in BB, instead of loving and communicating at home, its down to doing housework.

Its a good reminder for myself as we teach our Boys – while the system around us focus on performance and output, the gospel have a radically different perspective – we are not judge by our achievements, God accept us, regardless of our achievements and that is the heart of the christian faith. This is most clearly explained in the parable in Luke 15: 11-32.

11Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. 13“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. 17“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ 20So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 21“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. 22“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. 25“Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’ 28“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’ 31” ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ “

The two brothers are are stark contrast in the story. The younger one hated his father, wasted all his father’s wealth, yet the father accepted him inspite of him only having failures to show. The elder brother led all his life based on performance  and demands the father to reward him for his performance. When things don’t go his way, his true heart is revealed. He have never love his father, he only love himself. And the story ended with the father keeping the door open for the elder brother have the right relationship with him. God is the father in the story who accepts us unconditionally – the question for us is do we want God or we want the goods things from God?

The funny thing about the gospel is that its always counter culture. Its good to remember that if we teach our boys life is about performance and ticking off a list of achievements, then achievements will be their god and we are leading them further away from the gospel and the true meaning of life.

Anytime Now

Irene saw adrian today …. ember has really grown, she’s 3kg now !! She’s poise to see the world anytime. Adrian was suggesting that we may need to consider inducing if she’s grown too big by next week … coming weekend could be our last in the category of married without kids.

Talking about weekends … the last few weekends has been great being back in the BB … its been awhile that we see the Boys, its always great to see every single one of them … yet somehow every week I always felt that we have not done enough to get to know each of them deeper and truly impact them with our life.

However, I’m pretty happy that we started the basketball team, just wish that more people will join, keep praying that its a start of something good. In fact, we are so excited about the basketball team that yong wei, irene and myself spend the weekend hunting around for outfit for the team. Did not manage to lock in on the outfit … but irene got me  a 10 year wedding anniversary gift instead – a RayBan … something I’d always wanted .. thanks baby. Thank God for keeping us together all these years.

My RayBan

Talking about connecting … great to have govin & betty back, even its for a short while. We had a great time enjoying each other cooking during our welcome party. Also good to have a surprise guest – Geok Hua who served her expertise … fried carrot cake.

GnB welcome party